the strange cases of sherlock holmes
by x-Pick'n'Mix-x
Summary: Watson, Irene, Mary and Mrs Hudson talk about the funny and strange things they have walked in on Holmes doing while Sherlock tries to explain the reasons. please read and review x
1. Chapter 1

**the strange cases of Sherlock Holmes**

**Holmes POV**

Me and Irene had Married and so had Watson and Mary and they had moved back in due to rent problems. We were all sat in the living room talking and all of a sudden Watson started talking about the time when I hung upside down from the ceiling.

"you know one of the strangest things I've walked in on Holmes doing was when i…" Watson started

"Watson I really don't want to talk about me" I pleaded but it was too late everyone was interested now

"do be quiet dear, Watson carry on" Irene smirked

"well I had been out seeing to a patient and when I returned it was roughly 8pm…"

"8.15!" I corrected him

"yes, anyway I came into the sitting room and Holmes wasn't in his usual place, looking around I noticed him hanging from the ceiling by his feet, attached to belts or something, when I asked him what he was doing he told me he was trying to see how bats hung upside down without all the blood rushing to their heads."

The whole room burst out laughing.

"Sherlock" Irene said laughing "why on earth would you do that?"

"well, I was attempting to see how the bats had adapted to hanging upside down so as I was hanging I was feeling my veins to try and see which ones filled up more as I was hanging, I was going to do the same with a bat and record the difference."

I could tell everyone still found it hilarious because they were biting their lips trying not to laugh.

Knock, knock, knock.

"come in" I shouted

"I was wondering what time you would all like dinner?"

"well I…" I started but was interrupted

"Mrs Hudson we were just discussing funny things Holmes has been caught doing" Watson smirked looked at me then back at Mrs Hudson "anything you would like to add?"

"Watson this is truly unfair you're supposed to be…" again I was interrupted

"well" Mrs Hudson began as she took a seat "once I went out shopping and left Mr Holmes alone, when I returned I heard a loud crash from the kitchen, I began racing towards it too see what on Earth he was doing this time when there was a loud bang and Mr Holmes came flying out the doors, picking himself up off the ground he didn't realise I was stood there and said _blasted thing why on earth wont you work _he walked back into the kitchen where I started to follow until there was let another loud noise but this time it sounded like something popping."

I let out a sigh and looked around at everyone's faces and I knew this was going to be a long night.

"well Mr Holmes came running out coughing and upon seeing me cried: _ah Mrs Hudson it seems I have made a slight mess in your kitchen_ I looked at him and he was covered in foam, rushing to the kitchen I saw the kitchen was covered in foam."

"well I was simply testing what would happen if you mixed bicarbonate of soda and vinegar on a large scale and tried to contain it and well it… exploded and blew me straight out the door."

Everyone was once again laughing at the thought of me being thrown out the door of the kitchen"

"well then I am going to leave, feel free to carry on talking about me… I'll be in my room playing my violin" as I said this I went to stand up but my wrist was grabbed.

"oh no you don't honey" I looked down to see Irene grinning at me "we need you here for your attempts at explanations and to help the images"

She pulled me down next to her and kissed me on the cheek then rested her head on my shoulder so I wouldn't leave.


	2. Chapter 2

"Watson why did you feel the need to do this?"

"because old boy you are very amusing and we could all use a laugh"

I sighed and slumped lower into my chair

"you know" started Irene "I once walked in on him laying on the floor in what looked to a most uncomfortable position and he was groaning and mumbling"

"yes Irene I don't think they need to hear this one" I pleaded

"oh yes we do" replied Mary with a grin

"well I rushed over to him thinking he was injured and just as I got near him he stood up clutching his arm and saying _god damn it why on earth wont it just stay stuck and stop releasing itself _confused I watched him as he wandered over to his notebook where he scribbled something and then returned to where I was standing"

"dear what are you doing now? I asked him and he replied _I was simply trying to stick to the ceiling like an insect using these suction devices_ I looked up and saw one hanging from the roof and then noticed one on the floor. Yes but why were you on the floor? I asked him _well I was on the roof and when I attempted to move one of them lost suction and I was left hanging, I slipped and caught my foot on it and then slipped once again, thus I landed on the floor and you walked in."_

I was getting fed up with this as I thought these things would be forgotten.

"Holmes why were you trying to be an insect anyway" enquired Watson

"well I figured if I could work out how to stick to walls it would help me with cases as I could climb walls and hide from people but that idea didn't work" there was annoyance in my voice and then I attempted to change the subject "anyway I hear there is a good performance on at the theatre this evening shall we attend?"

"oh no Holmes we would much rather stay here and talk about you" Watson laughed

"oh yes, darling do you remember when the yard had to call you over Holmes' house because Lestrade had gone over there to nag Holmes for progress on the case and Holmes had locked him in the cupboard and refused to let him out?" Mary stated

Everyone once again was in stitches but I didn't mind as in this story it wasn't me that was embarrassed.

"oh yes, I had to go over there and persuade Holmes to give up the key" Watson looked at me "so why did you lock him in the cupboard?"

"well I was enjoying peace and quiet whilst smoking my pipe when Lestrade burst in and began moaning at me because I hadn't given him any progress on the case when I simply said Lestrade I've solved it he began yelling saying that I was a pain and I needed to inform him straight away etc. when I don't know what came over me but by the time I realised I had pushed him into the cupboard and locked the door" looking around and seeing everyone smirking I continued "he began demanding I let him out I said well Lestrade as soon as I make progress on retrieving the key I will let you know straight away and left him there, the next thing I know I have you round here asking me to give up the key, so I did.

"that is brilliant darling I wish I saw that" Irene said giggling.

"oh heres another funny story when I walked in and…" Watson started


	3. Chapter 3

Noticing Irene was no longer on my shoulder I jumped up and ran to the window

"Holmes what on earth are you doing?" shouted Watson]

"well I have places to be"

"your going to jump out the window" Watson was now running towards me so I smirked and jumped out the window.

Looking up I saw everyone looking out the window as I stood on a small ledge I dropped to the floor.

"well I'll return when I feel the need to do so and I think you have changed the subject"

"Holmes darling don't be silly we are messing around" Irene shouted out the window

"yes well I feel like a walk goodbye."

As I said this I walked away feeling quite smug.

A few hours later I returned.

**Watsons POV**

We were still in the living room and heard Holmes enter. We all waited for him to come through the door and soon as he did there was silence… then laughter.

"Holmes what on earth has happened to you" asked Mary giggling like a little girl

Holmes was standing in the door way, his clothes were covered in mud, ripped so that you could see his chest through his shirt, his trousers were torn and he was missing a shoe. I also noticed that he was soaking wet.

"well I went out for a walk as you know when I saw a gang that recognised me as I had put there former leader in jail for drug related issues." He paused and walked over to grab his pipe "well anyway they saw it was me and there were 5 of them, they started running at me so I ran the other way, I turned a corner and hid but they saw me and dragged me out. The biggest one shouted _ah Mr Holmes how nice to see you again._ Me being me I couldn't keep my mouth shut and replied ah if only I could say the same thing. Anyway I was hit in the stomach and they dragged me this field that was near a river and began trying to hit me. I managed to get loose from whoever was holding me and turned and placed a sharp blow to his head knocking him unconscious upon doing so I was tackled to the floor and punched several times in the chest, I threw him off and made a run for the trees where I was again tackled into a thorn bush…"

"which explains the torn clothes" said Mrs Hudson with a sigh as she knew SHE would have to sort them out.

"yes well after that I knocked the guy who had tackled me unconscious and began to run again until I came to the river which was too wide to jump and before I could move I was grabbed fro, behind, I then pulled them into the river and we began fighting which is why I am soaked and then I finished fighting the last 3 and ran home."

"see you should of just stayed here" Irene chuckled

"I am glad you find this amusing, anyway I am going to get changed"

He left and as soon as he shut the door we all burst out laughing and we heard his bedroom door slam.


End file.
